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Best Classic Jokes

Top jokes, ranked by Weird.net users. Join free →

  1. #1 What can travel around the world while staying in a corner? A stamp. Classic 60% liked · 5 votes
  2. #2 Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold out here. Classic 50% liked · 4 votes
  3. #3 The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? Footsteps. Classic 100% liked · 1 votes
  4. #4 I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I? A candle. Classic 100% liked · 1 votes
  5. #5 What has many keys but can't open a single door? A piano. Classic 100% liked · 1 votes
  6. #6 What has hands but cannot clap? A clock. Classic 100% liked · 1 votes
  7. #7 What's brown and sticky? A stick. Classic 100% liked · 1 votes
  8. #8 Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. Classic 50% liked · 2 votes
  9. #9 A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says, 'A beer please, and one for the road.' Classic 50% liked · 2 votes
  10. #10 Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up. Classic 50% liked · 2 votes
  11. #11 What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short. Classic 0% liked · 1 votes
  12. #12 What goes up but never comes down? Your age. Classic 0% liked · 1 votes
  13. #13 What has a head and a tail but no body? A coin. Classic 0% liked · 1 votes
  14. #14 Two muffins are in an oven. One says, 'It's hot in here.' The other says, 'Whoa, a talking muffin!' Classic 0% liked · 1 votes
  15. #15 Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine. Classic 0% liked · 1 votes
  16. #16 Why is a calendar always nervous? Its days are numbered. Classic
  17. #17 What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel. Classic
  18. #18 What's black and white and read all over? A newspaper. Classic
  19. #19 Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, 'You drive, I'll man the guns.' Classic
  20. #20 A duck walks into a pharmacy. It asks for chapstick and says, 'Put it on my bill.' Classic
  21. #21 A man tells his doctor, 'It hurts when I do this.' The doctor says, 'Then don't do that.' Classic
  22. #22 A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.' Classic
  23. #23 Three statisticians go hunting. The first shoots and misses left. The second misses right. The third yells, 'We got him!' Classic
  24. #24 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the long face?' Classic
  25. #25 A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, 'They're right behind you.' Classic
  26. #26 Why did the kid eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake. Classic
  27. #27 What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty. Classic
  28. #28 Why do nurses bring red pens to work? In case they need to draw blood. Classic
  29. #29 What's a tornado's favorite game? Twister. Classic
  30. #30 Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. Classic

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