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Best Dad Jokes Jokes

Top jokes, ranked by Weird.net users. Join free →

  1. #1 I'm great at multitasking. I can watch TV while ignoring my family. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 2 votes
  2. #2 What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. Dad Jokes 50% liked · 2 votes
  3. #3 What's a sailor's favorite letter? C. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  4. #4 Why did the can-opener stop dating the bottle? They had nothing to open up about. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  5. #5 Why did the lawyer show up to court in his underwear? He forgot his lawsuit. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  6. #6 I bought some shoes from a hipster. Pretty sure they were already used before they were even cool. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  7. #7 What's a pirate's least favorite letter? You'd think it's R, but his true love is the C. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  8. #8 I told my carpenter I didn't want shelves anymore. He gave me a blank stare. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  9. #9 Why did the coffee taste like dirt? It was ground this morning. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  10. #10 Why did the bread go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby. Dad Jokes 100% liked · 1 votes
  11. #11 Why don't we tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears around. Dad Jokes 33% liked · 3 votes
  12. #12 I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Dad Jokes 50% liked · 2 votes
  13. #13 What's a chef's favorite type of justice? Just desserts. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  14. #14 I wanted to be a doctor, but I had no patients. And worse, no patience. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  15. #15 I asked a librarian if she had any books about turtles. She said, 'Hardback?' And I said, 'Yeah, and little heads.' Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  16. #16 My wife says I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my things and right. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  17. #17 Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  18. #18 I have a steering wheel down my pants. It's driving me nuts. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  19. #19 I tried writing with a broken pencil. It was pointless. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  20. #20 What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  21. #21 I would tell you a construction joke, but I'm still working on it. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  22. #22 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. Dad Jokes 0% liked · 1 votes
  23. #23 Why don't electricians get cold? They have plenty of current. Dad Jokes
  24. #24 How does a train eat? It chew-chews. Dad Jokes
  25. #25 What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. Honestly, this should be tattooed somewhere. Dad Jokes
  26. #26 What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho problem. Dad Jokes
  27. #27 How do mathematicians scold their kids? If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times! Dad Jokes
  28. #28 I told my dog a joke about a stick. He didn't catch it. Dad Jokes
  29. #29 Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter? Swarm. Dad Jokes
  30. #30 Why don't we ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it. Dad Jokes

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