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Jokes

Why don't we tell secrets in a cornfield?

Jokes

What did the buffalo say when his daughter graduated college?

Jokes

I'm great at multitasking.

Jokes

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

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I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high.

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I'm on a seafood diet.

Jokes

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

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Why did the can-opener stop dating the bottle?

Jokes

I told my carpenter I didn't want shelves anymore.

Jokes

Why did the lawyer show up to court in his underwear?

Jokes

Why did the bread go to the doctor?

Jokes

What's a sailor's favorite letter?

Jokes

I bought some shoes from a hipster.

Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like dirt?

Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

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I wanted to be a doctor, but I had no patients.

Jokes

I asked a librarian if she had any books about turtles.

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I would tell you a construction joke,

Jokes

What's a chef's favorite type of justice?

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I have a steering wheel down my pants.

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I tried writing with a broken pencil.

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My wife says I have no sense of direction.

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Why don't lobsters share?