Jokes

Visitor mode Browse the public jokes catalog. Sign up when you want to rate, save, comment, filter by matches, or build a profile. Join
Filter Jokes
573 jokes Scroll for more
👀 Jokes

Why does waiting for water to boil take longer than watching paint dry?

Observational

Because the stove knows you're watching.

Recommend it?
😏 Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

Puns

He made a mint.

Recommend it?
💖 Jokes

Why was the gardener happy?

Wholesome

Business was growing.

Recommend it?
🐾 Jokes

What's a dog's favorite kind of pizza?

Animals

Pup-eroni.

Recommend it?
🔤 Jokes

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

Wordplay

A roamin' Catholic.

Recommend it?
🐾 Jokes

Why are elephants so wrinkly?

Animals

Have you ever tried to iron one?

Recommend it?
🐾 Jokes

What did the duck say to the bartender?

Animals

Put it on my bill.

Recommend it?
💻 Jokes

Why was the keyboard tired?

Tech

It had a long shift.

Recommend it?
🐾 Jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road?

Animals

To prove he wasn't chicken.

Recommend it?
🐾 Jokes

Why don't cats play poker in the wild?

Animals

Too many cheetahs.

Recommend it?
👀 Jokes

I'm afraid of speed bumps,

Observational

but I'm slowly getting over it.

Recommend it?
💻 Jokes

Why did the developer go to therapy?

Tech

He had too many unresolved issues.

Recommend it?
🔤 Jokes

I tried to make a belt out of watches.

Wordplay

It was a waist of time.

Recommend it?
😏 Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

Puns

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Recommend it?
🔤 Jokes

What do you call a fish without eyes?

Wordplay

Fsh.

Recommend it?
👨 Jokes

Why don't we tell secrets in a cornfield?

Dad Jokes

Too many ears around.

Recommend it?
💻 Jokes

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Tech

Because light attracts bugs.

Recommend it?
Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin?

Math

Log cabin. (Plus a constant — a houseboat.)

Recommend it?
💖 Jokes

I'm not great at math,

Wholesome

but I can count on my friends.

Recommend it?
🍴 Jokes

What's a chef's favorite kind of party?

Food

A whisk taker bash.

Recommend it?
🔤 Jokes

Why did the cyclist always carry water?

Wordplay

In case he ran into a puddle and dried up.

Recommend it?
👀 Jokes

Why do remotes hide between cushions?

Observational

Couches are jealous of TV.

Recommend it?
👨 Jokes

What did the buffalo say when his daughter graduated college?

Dad Jokes

Bison.

Recommend it?
👀 Jokes

I haven't slept for ten days,

Observational

because that would be way too long.

Recommend it?