👀 Jokes0% (3)Why does waiting for water to boil take longer than watching paint dry?ObservationalBecause the stove knows you're watching.Recommend it?
👀 Jokes0% (2)Why do remotes hide between cushions?ObservationalCouches are jealous of TV.Recommend it?
👀 Jokes0% (2)I haven't slept for ten days,Observationalbecause that would be way too long.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy do shopping carts have a mind of their own?ObservationalThey've seen too many parking lots.Recommend it?
👀 JokesHave you noticed that the gym is busiest the first week of January?ObservationalAnd empty by February — like a fitness eclipse.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy does ice cream always disappear faster than you bought it?ObservationalThe freezer eats it when you sleep.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy does coffee taste better when someone else makes it?ObservationalIt's seasoned with not having to make it.Recommend it?
👀 JokesI asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia.ObservationalShe whispered, 'They're right behind you.'Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy do we plug things in and then unplug them when something goes wrong?ObservationalBecause that's tier-one tech support.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy do printers refuse to work on Mondays?ObservationalThey're still printing Friday's job.Recommend it?
👀 JokesI'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinateObservationalall at once.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy is parallel parking always a public event?ObservationalThere's always someone watching from the sidewalk.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy is it always raining the day you wash your car?ObservationalThe car wash is paying for itself in irony.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy was the math test so emotional?ObservationalIt had too many problems to work through.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy do we say 'sleep tight' but never check on the actual tightness?ObservationalBecause the blanket lobby is strong.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy are highway signs so polite?ObservationalThey always say 'thank you' after a curve.Recommend it?
👀 JokesI told my plants they'd be okay.ObservationalI lied. I am really bad at gardening.Recommend it?
👀 JokesWhy does standing in the kitchen feel like exercising?ObservationalBecause the fridge is the most visited gym in the house.Recommend it?
👀 JokesHave you noticed that microwaves always leave 1 second on the clock?ObservationalIt's the universe's way of saying 'one more chance.'Recommend it?
👀 JokesHave you noticed that meetings could always be an email?ObservationalAnd emails always end up as meetings.Recommend it?